The Craziest Haircuts in Sports

  • Antrel Rolle
    10. Antrel Rolle

    New York Giants, safety

    Every training camp means a new haircut for the Giants’ defensive leader. His Instagram page is full of the evidence, too, and it’s not always popping. This year’s cut was too Metta World Peace for us to get down with.

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  • 9. Anderson Varejao

    Cleveland Cavaliers, center

    The locks are Andy’s trademark, enhanced by his breathless hustle. It’ll be a sad day when he gets old enough that he has to cut them but for now, he’s probably the only guy in the world who can get away with them. In other words, don’t ever attempt this look. You’d be better off trying to mimic Nick Young.

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  • Joakim Noah
    8. Joakim Noah

    Chicago Bulls, center

    The most important bun in sports. Noah has never cared about pampering himself, hence why his hair is always all over the place. You either love or hate him, but I don’t think I’ve ever met a fan anywhere who would rock the cut.

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  • 7. Bryce Harper

    Washington Nationals, outfielder

    Bruh, I appreciate the confidence to branch out but this thing needs to be locked away. I remember seeing this for the first time, Harper running around on the bases, helmet flying off, and BAM. The front flap is a ski jump.

    Harper needs a new ‘do. Maybe then he can live up to his potential as the most important player in baseball.

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  • Jacob deGrom
    6. Jacob deGrom

    New York Mets, pitcher

    The Mets righty has plenty of Rookie of the Year credentials, but he still needs some serious work on his hair. Before getting hisĀ Tim Lincecum on, deGrom spent years with short hair, which makes it all the more weird that as his hair grows, so too does his celebrity.

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  • Domata Peko
    5. Domata Peko

    Cincinnati Bengals, defensive tackle

    The nine-year pro has been a steady interior player for ‘Nati — missing just five games in his entire career — since first coming out of Michigan State. Perhaps he gets his strength from his hair, a la Samson? He might not have the best hair in the league but in a battle of the curls with a certain Steeler, the big fella won going away.

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  • Neymar
    4. Neymar

    Barcelona, forward

    Neymar’s hair needs its own TV show. Just this summer, he rocked the memorable porcupine look during the World Cup, which I’m not even going to touch. Yet even after he came back in August from his injury, Neymar dropped the blonde icepicks and went with the skinned animal look. In a weird way, the dude almost pulls it off. Almost.

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  • 3. Kyle Beckerman

    Real Salt Lake, midfielder

    Another soccer sensation, Beckerman might be American but when it comes to unique hair he can hang with anyone, anywhere. A Maryland native, Beckerman says he’s been rocking the dreads forever. His hair first started knotting up in middle school. That’s hardcore dedication, especially since they fly all over the place on the field.

    In fact, give the entire national team a shout. As a squad, they one-upped pretty much everyone all summer, and Beckerman was at the top of the list.

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  • 2. Troy Polamalu

    Pittsburgh Steelers, safety

    The man who inspired this list, in one way or another. From commercials to tackles, that hair is a Pittsburgh staple. Never change, Troy.

    9 of 10
  • Rodrigo Palacio
    1. Rodrigo Palacio

    Internazionale, striker

    The single most WTF look from a World Cup full of them. Some soccer fans I know spent the entire tournament wondering about it. Why was Rodrigo Palacio rocking a rat tail that wasn’t even centered? Was it some competitive thing, meant to distract or turn heads? Did he lose a bet? Is he actually a disgruntled Jedi? No one ever figured it out.

    In reality, we don’t need an explanation why this became one of the biggest “things” from the summer. Nothing could ever justify that — hence why it’s No. 1 on our list.

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  • Antrel Rolle
  • Anderson Varejao
  • Joakim Noah
  • Bryce Harper
  • Jacob deGrom
  • Domata Peko
  • Neymar
  • Kyle Beckerman
  • Troy Polamalu
  • Rodrigo Palacio

Sophomore year I came back to high school using about a pound of gel every day in my hair. It had to be perfect, had to be hard and pointy. I couldn’t afford anyone messing it up, either. Within weeks I had a reputation: Don’t touch dude’s hair. Don’t do it. Naturally it wasn’t long before one of my boys bet me I wouldn’t shave it off. Little did he know that I had always shaved my head growing up. This time, just to jerk him, I went one farther. The next day at school, I showed up sporting a completely shaved dome, all razor’d out. I got more than a few weird looks.

In sports, the World Cup is the equivalent of the first day of school. So many weird fashion choices. So many weird hairstyles. You can blame it on the differing cultures, but let’s be honest: There’s no way some of those haircuts fly anywhere in the world. Doesn’t matter where you grew up.

Before this summer, back in the ’90s, we had Dennis Rodman designin’ and profilin’ in the NBA, rocking full rainbows in his head and Chicago Bull logos. Recently, we had Tim Tebow looking like Friar Tuck during NFL rookie hazing, Andrew Bynum going all Andrew Bynum on us, and Kelly Olynyk‘s mane. Now we have some new stars rising, and today we’re celebrating them.

No, this list won’t include style experiments. No hazing haircuts. Nothing that was gone in a day or two. The athletes had to have actually rocked these cuts, in public and on the field. They also need to be current — it’s easy to go back in time and start hating. But I promise they’ll be no yearbooks here.

We’re officially back to school now, which makes for many opportunities to make a fool of yourself by trying too hard. Don’t be like that. Follow these guidelines, get yourself some style points, and check out The Craziest Haircuts in Sports.

Follow Sean on Twitter at @seanesweeney