Sophomore year I came back to high school using about a pound of gel every day in my hair. It had to be perfect, had to be hard and pointy. I couldn’t afford anyone messing it up, either. Within weeks I had a reputation: Don’t touch dude’s hair. Don’t do it. Naturally it wasn’t long before one of my boys bet me I wouldn’t shave it off. Little did he know that I had always shaved my head growing up. This time, just to jerk him, I went one farther. The next day at school, I showed up sporting a completely shaved dome, all razor’d out. I got more than a few weird looks.
In sports, the World Cup is the equivalent of the first day of school. So many weird fashion choices. So many weird hairstyles. You can blame it on the differing cultures, but let’s be honest: There’s no way some of those haircuts fly anywhere in the world. Doesn’t matter where you grew up.
Before this summer, back in the ’90s, we had Dennis Rodman designin’ and profilin’ in the NBA, rocking full rainbows in his head and Chicago Bull logos. Recently, we had Tim Tebow looking like Friar Tuck during NFL rookie hazing, Andrew Bynum going all Andrew Bynum on us, and Kelly Olynyk‘s mane. Now we have some new stars rising, and today we’re celebrating them.
No, this list won’t include style experiments. No hazing haircuts. Nothing that was gone in a day or two. The athletes had to have actually rocked these cuts, in public and on the field. They also need to be current — it’s easy to go back in time and start hating. But I promise they’ll be no yearbooks here.
We’re officially back to school now, which makes for many opportunities to make a fool of yourself by trying too hard. Don’t be like that. Follow these guidelines, get yourself some style points, and check out The Craziest Haircuts in Sports.
Follow Sean on Twitter at @seanesweeney